Foreign Tourist in Goa

- You should have a minimum 36' waistline, and be ready to increase it by 1' or 2' after beer binging. It is OK for you to parade your naked belly while driving your rented activa.
- You should not be younger than 40 yrs. And if you are a 50+ women, it is ok for you to go topless, as nobody will give a rat's ass about your rack.
- You should know only a smattering of English.
- You should be fine with the awesome servitude attitude of Indians who will serve you in the shacks or the hotel. They are the best exponents of athithi devo bava

Sud's novel - 65 Lakh Heist

It is always good to read well written blogs by people you know. And when they go on to write a novel, albeit a translated one, I'm very happy. Now I start thinking, probably probably, he might include my name in thank you section in his next novel. For what you may ask? Of course for nothing.

Sudarshan has stepped into the Indian English literary world with a translation work. 65 Lakh heist, originally written in Hindi by Surender Mohan Pathak, is a page turner. From first page to last page it keeps you in the edge. Uncharacteristically I finished it one sitting, which speaks a lot about the novel. The translation is simple, straight forward and no playing around with words (my type of novel).

For people who have read the original this novel may not be such a attractive proposition, but for people who have not this is a sure shot read.

People who read his blogs will surely miss the kind of humor he brings in, in this novel. But that is to be expected as it is a literal translation and improvisation/changes is not possible.

As a ending note, Sud fantastic job. And all the very best for your future novels. And do not forget to thank me ;).

Good to be an Engineer

A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in a psychological test. They sat on one side of a room and waited not knowing what to expect. A door opened on the other side and a naked woman came in the room and stood on the far side. They were then instructed that every time they heard a beep they could move half the remaining distance to the woman. They heard a beep and the engineer jumped up and moved halfway across the room while the mathematician continued to sit, looking disgusted and bored. When the mathematician didn't move after the second beep he was asked why. "Because I know I will never reach the woman." The engineer was asked why he chose to move and replied, "Because I know that very soon I will be close enough for all practical purposes!"

Source

In the name of Garibrath

Does the name of the train Garibrath, means only poor people should travel this train or people who want to save some money? If it is first option, then "financial capacity" checks should be made before anybody purchases a ticket in that. If it is the second, then name Garibrath should be changed to something equivalent to "Low cost AC 3 tier trains".

As far as my experience goes, the train was filled with people who did not have any other option other than this train and people who wanted to travel AC 3rd at a lower cost. People who chose this option, needs to be aware that most of these trains have Side Middle berth, which makes sleeping in both SMB and SUB quite strenuous. Also in day time the person with SMB will be sharing seat with the 3 people who are allocated in the regular seats.

Also the bedding comes for a cost of 25 RS.

One liner about Movies/Novel India based

White Tiger - Easy to read, nothing "white tiger" special, funny at times, a novel for the western audience, India at its darkest

Slumdog Millionare - Sometimes edgy, sometimes slow, fantastic soundtracks, not so great acting by the main lead, very little similarities with the book.

Darjeeling Limited - quirky, Owen Wilson school of acting, nothing for Adrien Brody, spiritual jorney to somewhere, liked Royal Tenenbaums better

Q & A

The moment I finished Q & A, I thought to myself that this is a perfect script for Madhur Bhandarkar. What an avial book. Some of the ingredients tasted nicely but most did not. The ingredients being:-
1. Gay sex in church and Father hiding that he is a father
2. Pedophilia in juvenile home
3. Forcing a girl child into prostitution (family involved)
4. Drunk father and Incestuous relationship
5. Beggar king and art of making juveniles into beggars (teaching Ghalib)
6. Dacoity in the land of Chambal.
7. That marwari family in your train compartment with their ubiquitous tiffin box.
8. Vanity actress dying in seclusion (Parveen, Savitri, SriVidhya)
9. Gay actors and them rubbing the unsuspecting young guys

Try this avial taking your appetite into account.

What is the difference ...

Between Basically my name is and Actually my name is?

Partner II?

This probably might inspire David Dhawan.

Blinded by high beams

Night driving in Indian roads is a nightware. Constant blinding high beams makes the driving not so good experience. Basically we Indian drivers do not know when to use high beams and when to not. And that is basically the problem. Since we do not know when to use, we basically keep it on all the time. Here is a video that illustrates when to use low and high beams.

There is an interesting point in that video, where it illustrates that even with a low beam whenever a vehicle climbs up a spead breaker, it acts like a high beam.

In Indian roads, by default almost every body drives with their high beams on. Irrespective of whether there are street lights are on or not. Even vehicles that stop at the signals, have their high beams on. Cops should start fining these vehicles. This totally adds on to the confusion on the other side of the roads. The other frustrating thing is vehicles which are parked in front of any shops, when they start their vehicle they start with the high beams on, this just blinds the people who are inside the shops or siting outside the shops. This should be stopped as well.

For more videos of this nature, check this blog out.

Hat Tip :- Chennai Metblogs

Comments

Joel writes an interesting article about blog comments. Right here he lists an interesting point

If the article, for example, mentions anything in anyway related to Microsoft, you get some kind of open source nuclear war.

This is precisely what happens in rediff. Any mention about any south Indian movie will become a Amitabh vs Rajni war. If fact research could be done as to, whatever the rediff article may be about, how many points does it take before it becomes a Amitabh vs Rajni war.

Snakes on a plane

The stupidest English movie I have watched, next to Deep Blue Sea. Both stars Samuel Jackson.

Born Again Rajni Fan

I was a fan of his after Baasha, Annamalai and Mannan. But after that came some duds. And chandramukhi just made it all the more frustrating. Then came The Cooooooooool Boss, the gum shooting Boss, the one who can make fun of himself Boss. I am a born-again fan now.

The movie was WOW all over. Shankar and his team does not disappoint. The song picturizations were brilliant.

Not too many punch dialogues, the absence of Vadivelu's sagikka mudiyatha (unbearable) jokes, Vivek's humour, dazzling Shreya in songs and finally the mottai boss made it worthwhile. As a lot of people have already said go without your brains and without any expectation, you are bound to have loads of fun.

I made a point to myslf before going to not nit-pick and I did and it was fun. Just do not look at his non-made up hands.

Bourne is back

Grand Daddies of Indian Cinema

The Web's Ten Most Irritating Words

Techtree has come with a list of The Web's Ten Most Irritating Words. My pick of the most irritating would be webinar and unconference.

Rich get Richer, Poor get Poorer

Here waatch it!

Bechara Bush



Source

Celebrity Krap

Celebrities most of the time dish out Krap in movies. Nowadays they have started dishing out the same in T.V. as well. The one who tops this list is Karan Johar in his Koffee with Karan show. He invities his A-list celebrity buddies cum Bollywood's supposedly talented King Khan, Rani, Kajol, Priyanka C, Hrithik and make them dish out Krap as well. You would expect a show which boasts of these celebrities would be a little bit entertaining, informative and intelligent. But all you end up is hearing them praise themselves. Joking about the rumour that is floating about how both King Khan and Karan are gay or joking about Rakhi Sawant or Mallika Sherawat. AS Shailaja Bajpai mentions here, this show is tabloid TV at its worst.

Would you believe it?

Kiwis clean sweeps the aussies.

The reason why

I did not like Guru, I did not like Yuva as well. Coming from the man who made Nayakan, MounaRagam, AgniNatchathiram, KannathilMuthamittal I was wondering what the reasons might be. I was going to write a bit about it. Then I came across this, and I do not think I would have written as clearly as to what he has written. Read it through.

Always late

Some people are always late. They do not realize it and they do not think that it is a big deal. Recently I had to miss my flight because of some people who thought that it is cool to be late and make others wait for them. It might be cool to be late for certain things, but when it comes to going to Airport it is not. Missing flights means losing money, losing patience and also being stranded in airport.

Landing jitters

When the spice jet flight from Hyderabad was about to land in Mumbai, two elderly gentlemen who were sitting opposite to me called up the air hostess and asked for some whisky. Instead of laughing it out (I was), the air hostess maintained a cool head and convinced the men that they do not carry any liqour. And it is not possible for her to provide them with some liqour. I'm sure the air hostesses must have faced many more weird requests like this.

Pongalo Pongal

Rediff readers at their best

Check out the message board

Whatever the result may be

India does not deserve to win this game. Dravid and Sachin field mein hug rahe the.

P.S - Hug in hindi loosely means taking a dump

Euphemism

He was in shower. He was basically in the loo and could not come out to pad up.